Compilation
by Wishing I could Delete this
Summary: 100 Glee Drabbles, five per entry.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee

A/N: The start of very many short dabbles, enjoy.

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Start:

#_1; "He's looking at you."_

"Make him stop." Jesse commanded, staring at the strange boy across the cafeteria. He wasn't exactly bad looking and Jesse was becoming more and more aggravated by the moment.

"What? How? just ignore him." Rachel laughed, digging into her low calorie salad. She needed to be lighter, in practice they were doing lifts and she wanted to be as light as possible to be the highest one in the air.

"Mess up your hair or something, button up the rest of your sweater." He suggested, noticing just how exposed her chest was. Jesse gave a quick glance to the boy again.

"What the hell," He growled "He's staring at you like a creepy little pervert."

"I get it all the time, at least he hasn't tried to feel me up yet." Rachel said, trying to make it seem like this was a often occurrence. Jesse was still new to the school and hadn't realized the full extent of how unpopular she really was.

"What?" Jesse's eyes narrowed, "Give. me. names."

_#2; freckles_

"I love that one." Rachel giggled, pointing to a small freckle clinging to the skin around Jesse St. James chest. His shirt was on the floor and his bare chest was out on display for Rachel. She blushed lightly, hoping he didn't notice the trembling of her fingers as she trailed along his skin.

"Why that particular one?" Jesse questioned, glancing at the said dot.

"It looks like a heart, right above your heart." She smiled, bending down to press her lips against the freckle. Jesse let his eyes close and head fall back onto the bed.

"It's yours." He whispered, cracking back open an eye.

"The freckle?" Rachel laughed, bringing her hand down to entwine with his.

"My heart."

_#3; Pills_

The pills were a shade of off white, small and circular. Tiny numbers imprinted on the edges marking random facts about the prescribed pills. She didn't care, all she knew was that they tasted like dirt and she hated swallowing them.

_"_Honey, just take your pills." Jesse frowned, urging the clear class of water towards her. Rachel looked up and glared, he didn't understand how nasty they were.

_"You_ try taking them two times a day for the next seven months." Rachel sighed. She quickly placed the pill in her mouth and took a giant gulp of water.

"Uck, that is disgusting." Rachel complained, placing the cup in the sink.

Jesse rolled his eyes.

"At least our baby will be strong and healthy, only seven months left Mrs. James." Jesse grinned, placing his hand at her still flat stomach.

"They are still disgusting."

"They're prenatal vitims, they're not suppose to taste like chocolate."

The sudden urge to throw up was overwhelming and Rachel barely had enough time to put her head over the sink as she let her mornings breakfast work it's way out of her system. Jesse immediately had his hands holding her hair back, trying to help her.

"I hate those stupid pills." Rachel moaned.

_#4; Dancing with myself._

The feel of her bare feet on the wood gave her a sense of comfort. The waxed and polished Ballet's floors were her safety area, her security blanket. Months and Years of her time were spent moving and swaying over them and nothing felt more right in that moment. The stress was finally getting to her and she just needed a time to think and be alone

A classical song wheezed it's way out of an old boom box, it had been to late to grab her I pod or home from the school's auditorium and Finn had been willing to let her borrow his old stereo.

She let herself be taking away by the music and moved her body.

Several hours later she would collapse on the wooden floor in exhaustion, her thoughts finally catching up to her. Her feet ached and she was starving beyond belief, but she finally had figured something out.

"I love Jesse St. James."

#_5; Lemons._

"Lemons..Lemons..Lemons." Rachel Berry sang, the black and silver knife in her hands chopping the tangy yellow fruit. While other children sat at the cafeteria tables eating strawberries or grapes, miniature star Rachel Berry had to have the most unique fruit, deciding that the other kids wouldn't like the sour flavor of lemons they quickly became her favorite fruit.

"Move over love, I'll get the sugar." Jesse said, tapping her hips with his hands. He was slightly amused by the way she loved lemons. He grabbed the sugar and sprinkled a heavy pinch on the slices of lemon.

"On the count of three." Rachel grinned, grabbing her first slice. "1"

"2" Jesse couldn't contain his smile.

"3" Rachel squealed, placing the lemon in her mouth and clamping down. Her forehead wrinkled and she twisted her face in shock of the sour flavor. Slowly her mouth adjusted and she sucked hard on the fruit, letting the juices roll back down her throat.

"I love lemons." Rachel moaned, taking the now dry lemon from her mouth.

"Obviously, I thought you were going to swallow the entire thing, peel and all." Jesse teased, grabbing another lemon. To be honest he hated lemons, but it didn't matter what he didn't like, what mattered was what she did like.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own

A/N: couldn't wait. enjoy

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_#6; I don't like this._

"I don't like this." Jesse frowned, watching his girlfriend of two months twirling around the stage. He was sitting in between Finn Hudson and Noah Puckerman. Even under normal circumstances he wouldn't be thrilled to be sitting in the position he was now.

"Nor do I" Finn mumbled in agreement, watching Rachel. Jesse looked over and frowned at the younger male, wishing more then anything that every male in the room would just disappear.

"Are you guys kidding me?" Puck grinned, leaning forward in the metal chair. "Berry looks hot, I love this."

Jesse clenched his jaw, trying to restrain himself from punching Puck in the face. It was taking more then he had not to rush on stage and cover Rachel up, but with the added strain of not _killing _Puck, he was almost ready to burst.

"Shut up, Puck." Finn growled, clamping his hand down on the knee.

Immediately Jesse's guard went up. If Finn was reacting the same way Jesse was, that meant he still liked Rachel, which was a big no no.

"I do not like this." He said again.

Jesse watched as Rachel moved around the stage, her voice the cherry on her barely clad body. Her hips moved to the beat the music, her hands sliding up and down her body. She hit the last note, his mind gone with things that he shouldn't be thinking about.

"Damn, I wish I was straight." Kurt Hummel sighed from the behind Jesse, his eyes still slightly wide. "I never thought I'd say this, ever, but Rachel Berry is extremely sexy. Oh goodness, I think I need to go brush my teeth now. "

"Wow, I thought I was a whore." Santana muttered. Rachel took her seat next to Jesse, a few beads of sweat dripping down her exposed chest.

"I don't like this." Jesse winced, trying to cover Rachel with his jacket. He noticed Puck trying to lean over her shoulder to get a better look at her breasts.

"Hey Berry, your jewish and hot do you want to-"

"Don't finish that sentence Puckerman," Jesse threatened. "or I'll really kill you."

Rachel raised her eyes brows and looked over at her boyfriend.

"I told you, I didn't like this."

_#7; evil_

It was evil.

"It's so cute!"

The devil's incarnate.

"It's adorable!"

I hated the creature.

"It's just a puppy." Rachel smiled, holding the puppy like a baby. She stroked it's head and laughed as the small animal licked her hand.

"Rachel, I love you. But were not getting a puppy. We just moved in together three weeks ago, can we wait until a few months?"

"I- But-" Rachel sighed, she didn't want one that bad anyways. "alright. Your lucky I love you too Mr. James, because that puppy is almost to cute to pass up."

"I'll get you one for your birthday." He offered, kissing the top of her head, ignoring the animal in her arms.

"Really?" She smiled, her birthday was in four months.

"No." He frowned, puppies were evil.

_#8; Promise_

It was snowing, flakes of frozen ice falling from the graying clouds like puffs of cotton. They stuck to the ground, freckling the earth and buildings, building up and making it slippery. Rachel loved the snow time, sitting in her room and watch the flakes hit the earth, singing to her fathers as they made her hot coco.

"I love it here." Rachel sighed, leaning her head against Jesse. They had been dating for almost four years and it was one of the rare moments when they had time alone to just sit and be in each others company, doing nothing but being next to each other.

"I love having you here." Jesse grinned, wrapping his arms around her body. He was planning on asking her to marry him tonight.

"I love you." Rachel whispered, titling her head up for a kiss. He smiled and gave her want she want, pressing his lips against hers. He depend the kiss for a few moments before she broke away.

"No matter what, I think I'll always love you. You could cheat on me and I'd still take you back, probably even kill someone and I wouldn't care." Rachel confessed, hand pressed on his heart.

"Oh, well, in that case." He said, making as if he was getting up to go.

"Uh, no. Do not cheat on me, Jesse St. James." Rachel pouted.

"Never." He promised.

_#9; "There's been an accident.."_

"Excuse me sir, are you Rachel James Husband?" And elderly man questioned, clip board in hand. There was a splatter of blood on his uniform and Jesse felt sick. The crimson marks stained the navy blue, little splotches of red decorating him.

"Yes, I am. Did something happen?" He demanded, immediately impossible scenarios and horrible visions plagued his mind. He took out his cell phone and hit the first speed dial, it rang once before going to voice mail.

"I'm sorry Mr. James, but your wife has been hurt." The officer said, shifting from one leg to another.

Jesse felt his knee's tremble, unable to support his weight he dropped to the ground, fist banging into the polished wood of their new house.

"She was in a car accident," The officer explained, "I was the officer on site. If you could please go down ST. Thomas Hospital, your wife you like to see you."

Jesse was in shock. Rachel, dead.

"Sir, your wife was very impatient, she said she wanted to see you as soon as possible." The officer said, crouching down to Jesse's level.

"What? She was asking to see me?" Jesse questioned, confusion blurring his mind.

"Your wife only broke her left leg, she's perfectly healthy in every other way." The man explained, helping Jesse to his feet.

Jesse chocked, coughing up a sob. He started to cry, he needed to see Rachel, he needed to touch her and hear her and feel her. He had to make sure that policeman wasn't lying, that she was really alive.

It took him fourteen minutes to get to the hospital. Three minutes to find her room and less then forty five seconds to be holding her again.

"I thought I lost you." Jesse cried, holding onto his wife like iron bonds. "I thought I would never see you again, and that was the most terrifying thought ever."

"I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." Rachel swore, kissing him.

"Promise?" he asked.

"promise." She complied.

_#10; Hello_

"This is my girlfriend, Rachel Berry." He introduced the pretty brunette. She grinned and shook the hands of an elderly couple.

"Aunt Elena," Jesse grinned, leading Rachel over to more family members "This is my girl friend, Rachel Berry." He grinned and after asking how she was, he led Rachel off to another group of people.

For the past two hours, he had been showing of his girlfriend. They hadn't been dating for very long, only officially taking on the title as Girlfriend and Boyfriend four weeks prior, but he couldn't contain himself. He wanted the world to know.

"Grandpa Dan, meet my girlfriend Rachel Berry." Jesse said. He turned toward Rachel, watching as she put on a wide smile and made flawless small chat with his 84 year old grandfather.

"Thank you," Jesse whispered into Rachel's ear, pressing a kiss to her neck. "your doing amazing."

"I'm actually having fun, your family is awesome." She smiled, leaning up and kissing the bottom of his chin. She felt him grab her fingers and squeeze.

"John, Marina, meet my girlfriend, Rachel Berry." Jesse exclaimed, seeing his cousins across the hall. She walked with as just as much energy.

"Nice to meet you." They said.

"Hello" She smiled back.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own.

A/n: So it seems like i'll be posting a chapter a day..

_#11; _βℓąmε

"It ached again today." Jesse complained, pulling her closer. They lay naked on the floor in Jesse's new apartment, having successfully exhausted themselves beyond belief.

"What did?" Rachel asked, her leg wrapping itself around his. He would never tell her, but he loved the cuddling afterward, being able to hold her close to his own body.

"Here." He said, motioning towards his chest area. Rachel rolled her eyes.

"When you said you'd call at noon and I couldn't get a hold of you until five, my chest began hurting."

"Is that your way of telling me you love me?" Rachel laughed, tilting her head up to get a better look at her boyfriend.

"You already knew that, love." He said. "But I blame you."

"For what?" Rachel questioned.

"The ache."

_#12; _Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє

"Please." Rachel begged, lips trembling. "Please, Jesse."

"Don't," He whispered, eyes closed. "Don't do that."

"I love you, so much." She cried. Rain dripped down her face as she stayed on her hands and knees, the soggy grass becoming a thick mud. Jesse was sitting a few feet a way, his legs useless.

He didn't speak.

"I'm sorry. Jesse, forgive me. I'm so sorry." She repeated, over and over. Her apologies, her begs for forgiveness. She need him to know that she didn't mean it, she would take it all back if she could.

"I gave it to you," his voice cracked. "I gave it to you, and you broke it."

"I didn't mean it, I swear, I-"

"Everyone thought it would be me, I'd be the one, but it was really you." Jesse continued, his eyes blurring. They stung as he held the tears in.

"You broke my heart Rachel Berry."

A sob escaped.

"I'm so sorry." She blubbered, she could barely speak anymore.

"For what? Telling me you loved me and then cheating on me?" Jesse gave a hysterical laugh. "The only women I've ever loved and you break my heart."

"Jesse..."

"I guess it was fate, Rachel Berry and Jesse St. James were never suppose to be." Jesse muttered, still sitting on the wet grass. The rain poured harder now, yet they didn't move.

_#13;_ƒиτι∫є

"Bye, call me later." Rachel smiled, kissing his lips for a brief moment. He nodded and watched as she left with Quinn, they were surprisingly spending a little bit of time together. He waited a little longer and made sure she got into her car alright and then as she drove away.

"You got it bad."

"Excuse me?" Jesse narrowed his eyes. It was often Finn Hudson would speak to him, and even less that Jesse would reply.

"You love her, it's futile to fight." He smiled, remembering the words that Leroy told him a few months prior. "She's worked her way to your heart and there is no stopping it now."

"You'll never win her back." Jesse told him, staring at boy.

"I have to try."

"It's futile to try."

_#14_;Ąbsєиcє

Sometimes he can still feel her, her touch. He can fool himself into thinking that she's laying right besides him, that she's just being really quiet. At times he can even see her, washing the dishes or playing the piano. There are moments in between dreams and reality that she speaks to him, tells him everything and even sings for him.

_'it'll hurt less today.' _ He reminds himself everyday. It'll hurt less, the pain will recede. In a few minutes the weight will lift and he can finally breathe again. He waits for hours, sitting at home, waiting for the pain to lessen. It doesn't.

_'she's not coming back.' _ He knows it, he can think it, but he can't accept it. He can't believe it.

_'In a few minutes, I'll be able to feel again.' _

Everyday it just gets worse.

_#15_; Smallville

"I love Justin Hartley." Rachel Berry sighs, her head on Jesse's lap. He doesn't understand why he does these things for her, but he's in the middle of a twelve hour smallville marathon. He knows more about Tom welling and Justin Hartley then he knows about high notes. It's all thanks to his girlfriend.

"That's the one in green leather, right?" Jesse asked, just to see her nose scrunch in irritation. He's asked thirteen times.

"Yes, he is wearing green leather." Rachel informed him, eyes glued to the tv.

"Is that what you like?" Jesse questioned, "Leather?"

"No, not particularly."

"Then what kind of guys do you like?" Jesse prodded, trying to regain her attention. She looked over at him for a second.

"You." She smiled, "I like your kind of guy, particularly you."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own

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_#16; Ex._

"Calm down" Quinn sighed, looking in the mirror for any smudges of her makeup. They had already been in the club for an hour and it was getting hot, the pulse of the music beating the walls and forcing all of it's occupants to move along the floor. Quinn couldn't lie, she was getting a lot of looks.

"I don't know how Quinn, you know I don't do this sort of thing." Rachel frowned, tugging at the hem line of her too tight dress. She was borrowing it from Quinn and it was more then a little exposing. It had been a birthday present to herself last year when Quinn turned twenty and had finally cut down to the size she was at fifteen and before the baby, an entire four years later. Rachel felt and odd thrill at all the males who's attentions she caught, but it still wasn't comfortable.

"You look hot." Quinn grinned, staring at her best friend.

"I look like a whore." Rachel muttered, staring at her reflection. It wasn't a lie, while the dress was made to fit someone of Quinn's size perfectly, Rachel being four inches taller and wearing incredibly high heels made her look more then a little _easy_. The neck line was decent, showing a fair amount of cleavage, but the dress stopped a few inches down from her hips, barely covering her underwear and it was backless. Being strapless _and_ backless was a dance with disaster, at any moment it felt like it was going to simply fall off her body and float away.

"Rachel, you are with out a doubt the hottest girl out there. Be happy and just get drunk with me, please? This is the one night I'm free to do whatever I want, so give me what I want. Alright?" Quinn begged. She didn't want to admit it, but it was true that Rachel was probably the hottest girl there. She would have killed to look half as good as her in the moment, and she was embarrassed to think it.

"eh, fine. Lets go." Rachel moaned, pushing the bathroom door open.

They made there way back to their corner booth, almost tripping several times.

"I'm going to get a beer." Rachel yelled over the music, motioning to the bar. Quinn nodded, taking her seat.

Rachel was half way to the bar when she crashed into someone, the heels twisting her ankle and sending her right into the chest of someone else. She hoped to god it hadn't been a girl, because that would of hurt bad.

"Ouch, fuck. Sorry." She apologized, her ankle now throbbing. She looked up, wanting to check if the other person was okay.

"Rachel?" A male questioned, steadying the brunette. She was standing on one leg, the other one already beginning to turn red and swell.

"Jesse." Rachel blinked, staring at her old boyfriend.

"Wow. you look- wow. "Jesse stared, looking her over. She had thinned out a little, the dress making clear how in shape her body was. A twinge of regret pulled inside of him, he should of fought harder, tried longer.

"I need to uh- I should go." She turned around, wobbling away. She stumbled forward a little and Jesse was left with a clear view of her bottom and the tiny freckle on the right side of her back that was placed right by her hip.

"Wait, i'll help you." He offered, catching up and grabbing her by the elbow.

She didn't know why she what happened next, for years to come she wouldn't understand what forced her to do it.

Without hesitation she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.

"I'll take that as a yes." Jesse smiled, breaking away.

_#17; lip gloss_

He hated the stuff, it was silly and childish but it was true. Under normal circumstances he wouldn't have cared, with every other girlfriend it hadn't bothered him and he hadn't even noticed it, but everything was different with Rachel Berry.

"Dude, your overreacting." Puck Puckerman laughed, all the males were sitting in glee glub, the women off practicing a routine.

"No, i'm not." Jesse sighed. "She always does it, and i'm starting to think on purpose too."

It was that damn lip gloss. He was ashamed to admit it, but he was jealous of a stupid tube of lip gloss. Jesse St. James hated the fact that his girlfriend constantly smeared the watermelon scented pink gloss around her lips. It first started a few weeks ago, when he noticed that the little container got to touch her lips much much more then he did. It didn't really bother him at first, but now it's a constant reminder that the gloss gets to be on her lips 24/7 and he doesn't.

"Let it go." Finn told him. He dealt with the same problem with Quinn and if he had the chance to be any where near Rachel lips, he sure as hell wouldn't complain about a stupid tube of lip gloss. He would be to busy kissing if off of her.

"You let it go." Jesse glared. He hoped he caught the double meaning.

_#18; fatality _

"Was I dreaming?" His eyes were blurry, red and puffy from the last two weeks.

"No."

He didn't speak, only closed his eyes and let out another tear. Jesse nodded shakily and clenched the bed sheet tighter in his hand.

"Would you like something to eat?"

He shook his head.

Finn left after a few more moments, it had become routine by now. A few months ago, after the crash, Finn had moved into Rachel's and Jesse's apartment, taking care of the young and broken man. Slowly Jesse was falling deeper and deeper into himself, barely eating and only getting up to use the bathroom twice a day.

"How is he?" Quinn asked.

"He needs Rachel." Finn answered.

"Don't we all..."

_#19; lets get drunk_

There was a half empty vodka bottle laying on the ground, a tangle of arms and legs wrapped around a thin bed sheet. An un-open pack of cigarettes was half way hidden behind a magazine and Rachel Berry's hair. She didn't mind getting drunk, but smoking hurt her singing voice. Lazily she dragged herself to the bathroom, wincing at the state of her hair and smeared makeup.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea.

Her cell phone started to vibrate under a stack of clothing, she dug it out and opened the new text message.

_Saved you some hash, wanna join? - L_

No, she really didn't.

_Sure, be there in twenty-R_

_#20 ..._

Four things were always a known fact to Kurt.

The first was, and will always be, that Finn Hudson was _the_ hottest guy at McKinely high school. Hundreds of girls would agree, a few males pointing out the obvious attractiveness in him and more then half the adult population also in a joint understanding that Finn Hudson was one attractive male.

Second of all; He was gay. Not Finn, but Kurt. Kurt knew, and even though he rejected it for a very long time, he knew that he was a homosexual male that was interested in other males.

Third; His mother was never coming back, no matter what. She had died and gone to heaven, leaving the earth and him behind and no amount of praying or wishing or dreaming would ever change that fact.

fourth; Rachel Berry was the most annoying girl in the history of existence.

no matter how he thought about it, he never understood how the first and the fourth fact would ever end up dating, then falling in love. He doesn't understand how they got together, how they stayed together and lived together through college, through Rachel's parents deaths, and through every person fighting to break them up.

He fought for years, until he was twenty-three and they had been together seven years before he gave up. He fought for them to break up, for Finn to realize how annoying and selfish she was and then finally leave her. But he never did.

They were in love and as much as Kurt hated to admit it, it was a fact.

===(if you like Jesse, keep reading, if you want to end it with Finn&Rachel, don't go further.)

Even after seven years of trying to break them up, he was still surprised that it actually happened. Not that he wasn't happy about it, he was just surprised. It was two years after he'd given up, making them twenty five and semi famous stars on broadway.

His name was Jesse St. James, and after four days, Rachel had left Finn and was dating the raven haired man. He had broken up with his fiance and even moved from LA to be with Rachel in New York. I never got an invitation to the wedding, I wouldn't have gone anways.

Finn was hurt, crushed and destroyed. It took him 1 year, 3 months and 16 days to really get of Rachel Berry and meet the women who was his soul mate. Her name Jennifer something and I liked her even less then Rachel Berry. She was blond, tan and too nice to be human.

Rachel was happy for him.

I had never really met Jesse, but what i've heard was that he was better looking then Finn and had a voice that could match Rachel's and also an ego too. Somewhere, deep inside of me, I was secretly glad Rachel got her happiness, I didn't like her, but that didn't mean she deserved to be alone.

As for me,

his name is Braten, and he's all mine.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own.

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#21; "Where are you now?"

Dark nights are frequent in his life. Dark and lonely nights filled with hazy static from a cheap tv and the ever frequent smell of sweat and molded carpet. It was a place to stay, a place to close his eyes and slip into a blissfully dulled dream of nothing. Days were spent avoiding the apartment, walking gum splattered sidewalks and littered roads. The real New York couldn't compare to the fake one his mind created when he was still a freshmen in high school, it couldn't measure up to the glamor and fame. Nothing could be like the things he had thought.

"Rachel where are you now?" He wondered, kicking a pebble forward. His thoughts consisted of mainly her, mainly her voice and her eyes and the way she said his name. The way she walked and how she looked at him, how she felt.

"God, Rachel... where are you now?"

_#22; Raisins._

"That's a really nasty obsession." Jesse St. James said in disgust. His bag was thrown onto a nearby chair and he laid haphazardly on the bed beside his girlfriend.

"What, it is not nasty?" She laughed, flicking a small object into her mouth. She closed her eyes and moaned, exaggerating the good flavor of the tiny finger nail sized dried fruit.

"Ew, gross." He scrunched up his nose and leaned away, "I'm not kissing you if you eat those things."

Rachel looked over.

"I never liked rasins anyways..."

_#23; Hide away_

The little freckles of silver were spread all over her eye lid, smearing into the thick liquid charcoal liner. It was smoky, and it was hot. A few more glitter pieces were sprinkled across her lips, blending in with the candy pink of her lip stick.

She gave a wink to the mirror.

"You really don't need that." A voice from the door way said, startling her.

"Oh- Jesse, I didn't see you.. you scared me there." Rachel Berry laughed, twirling around to stare at the man. He was twenty- two now, a few inches taller and more filled out, more muscular.

"The eye shadow, the lip stick, you don't need any of it." He continued, ignoring her. He walked in a little ways, leaving the dressing room door open behind him. He didn't want to start any rumors.

"I don't know what you mean." Rachel frowned, lightly grazing her hand over her blushed cheek. It looked perfect and she was planning on meeting a few friends at the bar a few blocks away.

"Your much prettier without it," Jesse whispered, leaning in with a tissue and swiping it across her lips. A massive amount of gloss and glitter and pink stained the white.

"I-Jesse..."

"Don't hide your beauty Rachel." Jesse said, backing away slowly. He turned and left, the door shutting behind him.

A memory hit her.

_"Don't hide your heart from me, Rachel. Please, I love you. I'm not afraid to admit it, please don't hide your love from me." Jesse cried, "I don't know if I'll be able to find it, please...Don't hide." _

She turned back towards the mirror, finding a paper towel and rubbing at her face. She started to cry as she scrubbed, letting the frustration of four years out. Her eyes were red and puffy, splotches of pink breaking out around her forehead, contrasting to new paleness of her cheeks.

"Damn it."

_#24; OOC_

"Who's that?" Quinn asked, excited. She was staring at the opposite side of the room, french fry half raised to her mouth. She let the fry drop and turned towards her boyfriend, Jason Meck.

"Jason, who is that?" she squealed, plunging her nails into his arm. He barely winced, so use to her random acts of energy, and looked over to the direction she was previously looking at.

"The tall guy?" He questioned.

"Yah, the one with the brown hair and black shoes." she pointed him out, he was coming out of the cafeteria, milk and apple in one hand.

"Not sure, I think his name is Jesse." Jason said, biting into his cheeseburger. He frowned and swallowed, cafeteria burgers sucked.

"He's really hot." Quinn grinned. "Rachel, you and him are totally going to get married."

"Uhm, no- he looks like a total ass hole to me." Rachel Berry arched an eyebrow. She wasn't into pretty boys, no matter how pretty they actually were. Quickly she glanced back towards the male, a flash of appreciation on her face. He really was gorgeous.

"Do you even know him?" Quinn glared, eyes narrowing.

"No, and I don't want to. There will never be anything between Jesse what's his name and me." Rachel said, matter of factly.

"We'll see about that..." Quinn said mysetriously, she had a plan...

_#25; sex._

She glanced over nervously.

"I - uh- know you two have been going out for a long time now and Rachel, your eighteen now, which makes it finally legal, but this uh- this discussion is to really, erhm, prepare you for...sex." Mr. Berry fidgeted in his seat, looking at his daughter and her boyfriend.

"Dad-"

"Let me finish." He interrupted her, "Sex is something that you shouldn't do unless you really love one another, and I know you love each other so I'm just going to say...use a condom, or Rachel we'll get you started on the pill or something, and I'd prefer you do it while were not at home, and not in my bed, or actually nowhere near our house, or in a car or really anywhere.. I mean, eh, your father and I just want to warn you about sexually communicable diseases and what not. Just, be safe and make sure you love each other and uhm, maybe wait until marriage. But you don't have to- but you should, but your father and I have accepted that your an adult now so you can make your own decisions, but really don't do it.. unless you want to. or not at all."

"Dad...I'm pregnant."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own.

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#26; forever and what comes after that.

The ring was silver, old and diamond encrusted. His grandmother had bequeathed it to him when she passed away four years ago, around the same time he had met Rachel Berry, the same time they began dating. It never was friendship, they never had a foundation before the relationship. It was instant attraction, connection, lust and understanding. From day one, from the first second, they were involved.

His fingers traced over the object slowly, twisting it in his large coat pocket. It was worth more then the large manor house his parents had, more then anything he's ever owned and Jesse St. James owned a lot of expensive things.

It was an attention seeker, vain and large. Briefly he considered giving it to Rachel, it was beautiful, just like she was, just in a different way. He changed his mind, changing his footsteps in the process and turning back towards a jewelry store.

It took him several hours, but he finally found it. A much smaller, less flashy, diamond. It was simple and beautiful and it made him wonder why he ever thought of giving Rachel the other bulky thing. But it had been in his family since his great great grandfather...

He decided to give her both, now all he needed to do was ask..

_#27; Finn Hudson_

"I wonder if he was the right choice." Rachel says.

Her lips are dried and cracked, face chalky and white. The once long and carefully kept fingers are tough and hard with years worth of housework and outside gardening. Her voice is scratchy, sixteen years ago she picked up the habit of smoking.

"Sometimes, I feel like maybe he was the wrong choice." Her words hurt the younger adults ears. Emilie Hudson felt bad for her mother, felt bad for the way her life had worked out.

"He was a good dad." Emilie speaks, head resting in her mothers lap. She closes her eyes as Rachel runs her fingers through the light brown hair.

"Yes, he was good to you and Jamison." Rachel agrees.

"You love dad, he loves you too." Emilie continues.

"Once, that was true."

And she doesn't have to question it anymore, she doesn't have to think about it. She did make the wrong choice, she chose the wrong man. But in this moment, with her youngest child laying in her lap, she knows she also made the right one. All she could do now, was make sure her daughter had the true love she had missed out on.

_#28; spelling tests_

"pst, Berry." A small, chubby cheeked boy whispered. He was leaning over the tiny wood desk and towards another child's single page of paper. The eight year old girl with shoulder length brunette hair glared, covering up her paper with her thin arms.

"No cheating," She muttered, scooting closer toward the desk, feet barely reaching the ground. She was short for her age and could barely reach over the small bookcase in the room.

"It's not cheating, it's called sharing." the boy said.

"Jesse, no."

"Would you do it for a kiss?" Jesse grinned, puckering up his lips.

"Ew!" she shrieked, eyes wide. "That's _gross_ I'd never kiss you."

"Rachel Berry, front of the class room now!" Mrs. Townes barked, rising from her desk in front of the class room. She did not tolerate outbursts in the middle of testing.

"But- But-" Rachel began, eyes quivering, she hated getting in trouble.

"No buts, up front now." She demanded.

"I hate you, Jesse. St. James." Rachel breathed angrily, slamming her feet on the ground and stomping up to the front of the room.

"Naw, you know you love me." He whispered back, knowing she couldn't hear him. He leaned over and glanced at number 8_, _scribbling her answer on his own paper.

_#29: texting_

_4:31 Am; tuesday March fourteenth _

_I miss you- J_

_It's four thirty in the morning- R_

_Sooo? - J_

_I'll see you in less then four hours, you do know that right?- R_

_But i miss you **now..**_** -**J

_I saw you a little more then five hours ago too,- R_

_That's too long, I can't go that long without seeing you.- J_

_What will happen when your away in L.A next year, and i'm still here? that'll be months without seeing eachother.- R_

_I'm not going. - J_

_what do you mean? not going? - R_

_To L.A, Ohio has tons of good colleges.- J_

_Your not thinking right, i'll see you in the morning. i love you. -R_

_I love you too, and i'm thinking right. I never want to be away from you.-J_

_We'll talk about this in the morning.- R_

_we can, but it won't change my mind. Rachel, your the most important thing to me, and i'm staying with you- J_

_If you don't go, were breaking up.- R_

_We'll talk about this in the morning...-J_

#_30;__WWII_

_August sixteenth, 1943. _

_Dear Jesse, _

_I'm looking for you. Every moment of everyday I'm scanning the rooms, staring into every mans face to make sure it's not you, to make sure that your not one of these men. I ask about you, to everyone who can give me an answer. It's horrible here, so many dead and dying people. Anna and I are the only nurses left, Maria and Mrs. Thorison were sent back to the states and Regina died last week. I feel that Anna will be leaving soon, she could barely handle the hospital in the U.S, and being stationed in the heart of the fighting is nerve wracking for her. I wonder where you are right now, I wonder if your looking for me too... at nights I dream your with me. I dream were back in Ohio, laying near Mr. Larkson's pond and your singing to me. Do you remember those nights? Sometimes I can't recall what home looks like, I can't see anything but blood and dirt and death. I don't know where you are right now, or when i'll see you again, but I need you to know I'm looking for you, I'm always going to look for you. _

_Forever yours,_

_Rachel._

_January third, 1944._

_Jesse, _

_They've sent me out, I'm somewhere in Germany. I'm traveling with the soldiers, all medics have been called to the front line. I'm the only woman with enough qualifications, I'm the only one for sixty- nine young men. Dr. Halith left two days ago, he was sent somewhere in Russia. I'm afraid that I'll be treating you one day, that another man will drag you to me and I'll see your face. I'm afraid that I wouldn't be able to save you, that I'd be to weak to keep you alive. Please, Jesse, don't come to me hurt. Come to me alive and safe and whole. Find me, find me and we can run away together. We can escape this war, it was never ours to begin with. We'll leave Germany, leave this land and go home. It'll be just you and me, forever. We can grow old together, we can have kids and teach them how read and grow. Doesn't that sound perfect? A life without battles or war or guns, a life of peace near a pond or a lake where we can go swimming in the summer. It's the only thing keeping me going, keeping me alive. I'll find you Jesse, I'll find you soon and we'll have our happy ending. I promise, I'll always love you. _

_yours, _

_Rachel. _


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own

A/n: enjoy.

* * *

#_31; electricity_

His lips brushed up my ear, sending my nerves into over load. I couldn't tell if my hair was laying flat on my back or standing vertical at the top of my head. It felt like someone had rubbed me with thousands of balloons, charging me up and sending me into a electrical bundle of static and shock. My eyes closed and I let my mouth open, trying to breathe in as much oxygen as possible to keep a small hardly functional part of my brain going. My fingers curled around my hands, pressing little shapes into the skin. If his lips weren't on me, I would have realized that my palms were aching in pain.

He let out a low, throaty laugh and took a few steps back. The sudden the feeling of overwhelming loss hit me like water being splashed in my face. He was instantly at the door, smirking and watching me try to recover the proper way to think. My knees shook a little.

"I'll see you later." He grinned, backing out of the door and leaving me.

_#32; ice_

"Rachel, what are you doing?" He asked, eyes wide. I wanted to turn around, run away and hide in my child like room. I wanted to forget this stupid idea and just be happy the way we were, the rate that we were going.

"Nothing, it's just hot." I said innocently, trying to keep the embarrassment and worry out of my voice. It was already to late to turn around now, even though I desperately wanted to.

"Ehm," He coughed, "It's barely 80 outside."

"To me, it's scorching." My voice lowered, the ice cube dipping farther down my exposed chest. I was leaning against his kitchen counter, shirt unbuttoned and in the shortest skirt I owned. I let my hair shake a little and looked back to my boyfriend.

"Rachel... I know what your doing." Jesse said, mouth turning into a hard, thin line. He had a very strict rule about sex, wanting to wait for marriage and I had been trying to convince him otherwise for the past seven months.

"Hmm, is it working?" I asked, letting the rest of my shirt drop from my shoulders. The ice was melted now, a drop of water trailing down my chest and onto my stomach, disappearing in the waist line of my skirt.

"You know how I feel about sex." He clenched his jaw, watching the trail of water. He swallowed hard.

"We don't have to have sex." I said, hand on the zipper of my skirt. I undid it slowly, staring into his eyes the entire time.

He took four steps forward and his hand clasped over mine, pulling the zipper up and picking my shirt up too. His eyes didn't leave my face as he waited for me to put the shirt back on. I flushed, embarrassed and hastily put it back on.

"Not until there is a ring on your finger and your pronounced Rachel St. James."

_#33; words._

Small parts of grape flavored ice dripped down her face, following a trail towards her neck and slipping past the stained cotton blue of her favorite shirt. She flicked a few clusters of ice out of her hair, holding her head up high as she stomped to the nearest woman's bathroom, at the very end of the wall.

Her eyes watered slightly in anger, her fingers curling into balls.

Rachel slammed into the bathroom door, her shoulder taking the brunt of the force. It slammed open, smashing into the newly painted wall.

The mirror hanging above the sinks were smeared with finger prints and random graffiti from teenage girls make up products.

_Elizabeth Droweny sucks major DICK _

_James Matherson is a faggot._

_Rachel Berry is a nasty whore._

She pulled a handful of napkins out of the dispenser and cleaned herself off, making sure to rid herself of every last piece of purple crushed ice. Looking back into the mirror she through the paper towels away without wiping off the glass.

_Let the other girls think what they want _she thought to herself, leaving the bathroom. It didn't matter to her anyways. She knew that she was a thousand more times talented then anyone here and that it would just make her stronger.

_#34; control_

He wasn't sure where he was.

A fact that slightly scared him- okay, really really scared him. Jesse St. James didn't like being out of control, and more often the not he never had to worry about ever _loosing_ control, but this was beyond loosing control. This was being so beyond his realm of comfort that it left him feeling dazed and confused and very angry.

"What in the hell?" He growled angrily, glancing around. The entire room was filled with pink's and yellows, small stuffed animals resting on more then 90 percent of the surface area. It looked like the dream room for a child that was eight and living in a fairy tale. Jesse stormed over to the window and tore the lacy curtain back, bright orange rays of sunshine bursting into the already overly bright room.

"Where the _fuck_ am I?" He asked again, trying to look for anything that he recognized.

"My house, I'm Rachel Berry."

He turned, startled and looked toward the voice of a girl. He narrowed his eyes and tried to remember where he had seen her.

"I'm a year younger then you, last night my brother through a party and you got drunk and wound up sleeping in my bed." She said it simply, gesturing to a very large, very empty bottle of vodka and his shoes that sat innocently by the bright pink bed.

"Oh, uhm.. thanks?" He offered lamely, running his hands through his hair. He grabbed his shoes and moved past her, stepping out into a long hallway which was, while still bright and completely lit, much darker then Rachel Berry's room had been.

"Bye," Rachel called, turning her head to look at him. He stared back a moment and took a good look at her, she was pretty, in a classical nice looking way. Her hair was nice and shiny, long and brown, she had decent sized lips that were light and pink like her room.

He decided he didn't mind sleeping in her overly crazed animal stuffed room, as long as next time she was in it too.

_#35; Rachel to his Finn. _

"Do you think we'll get married?"

The words shocked him, simultaneously stopping his heart while quickening it. He was scared and unsure and suddenly the room was too hot and he could barely breathe. He honestly never gave a thought if they would even last through _high school_ let alone to real world. It wasn't that he didn't want to marry her, because he did like her a lot, but he wasn't sure if they were soul mates. When they kissed, it was warm and nice and comfortable, but wasn't it suppose to be earth shattering, world breaking incredible?

Quinn's question was so out of left field, he didn't know how to answer it.

"Because the way Finn Hudson looks at Rachel Berry makes me think they'll get married one day." She continued, ignoring his slightly panicked eyes and sudden clammy hands.

"I mean, Rachel may be a bitch, but I think they'll last."

Puck nodded, still trying to form words to speak.

"It doesn't matter, because Finn Hudson has completely become un-cool ever since he joined that stupid Glee club and became attached to the loser freak."

Puck continued to nod.

"I guess it doesn't really matter." She quickly lost interest and dropped the subject, changing it to one about the cheerio's and uniforms. He stopped listening when it turned to pom-poms.

He glanced over at Finn Hudson, two tables down and sitting with his girl friend Rachel Berry. He noticed the way he stared at Rachel, the way he spoke to her and how he cradled her face in between his hands before kissing her.

And he knew, that no- Quinn and him would not be getting married after high school, because she wasn't the Rachel to his Finn.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

Sorry for the wait.

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_#36-_

_Sweaters_

He wasn't surprised she was wearing a sweater with an animal on it. She always wore something goofy, something that was equally parts grandmother and toddler. He was surprised, however, that he happened to love the sweater. It reminded him of its owner, in a way. It was small, brown and had a small kitten on it. He wanted nothing more than to pull her close to him, wrap his arms around her and breathe her in. He wouldn't mind getting a match sweater, actually. Because then everyone would know, know that he loved Rachel Berry for more than her wildly unbelievable talent and pure heart. Because if he had a matching sweater, everyone would know that he _loves_ everything about Rachel Berry, down to the last furry animal covered sweater.

_#37-_

_Smell_

_sniff. sniff_

_"_Jesse, did you just..did you just-" Rachel looked over, unable to finish her sentence, bewildered at her ex-boyfriends strange behavior.

"I uh- I was just.. you know, uh-" Jesse stammered, glowing bright red in embarrassment._ Damn it_ he thought _I'm over her, stop getting so flustered. _

Rachel smiled a little uncomfortable and slide a little father down on the aisle, putting a little bit of distance between her and him.

He was the one that broke up with her, he should be the one to keep the distance.

A random wind fluttered through the choir room, tossing Rachel's hair in the slight breeze and suddenly the smell of strawberries filled is nose and he couldn't help himself. He leaned in and _sniff. sniff._

_Why did she have to smell so damn good?_

_#38_

_I don't deserve you._

God, I don't deserve her. I must have done something, something so wonderful and purely selfless in my past life to have earned her in the life. I must have saved an orphanage or done something equally as great, died a hero or sacrificed my life for the greater good. Because there is no way in hell that I deserve Rachel Berry. None at all.

Lord, no one deserves someone as wonderful as Rachel Berry. Sometimes, I think God made a mistake, that he took his eyes of his angels for one minute and Rachel was too curious and fell from heaven, landing right where she belongs, in my arms.

Regardless, I thank you Lord, for giving me Rachel Berry. I don't deserve her, but thank you.

_#39_

_Wish upon a star_

_"_Jesse, make a wish!" Rachel shouts, pointing a long finger into the dark and at the fleeting remains of a shooting star. Jesse barely turns is head in time to catch it disappear in the diamond sky.

He doesn't really know how she convinced him, considering he has an audition tomorrow and his throat feels a little tight. But somehow, here he is, lying on a woolly blanket in the middle of the park, looking at the night sky and doing nothing but being in each others presence.

"Did you make a wish?" Rachel whispers now, her lips very close to his ear. Jesse turns his head over to stare at her. He goes a little breathless at her beauty.

"No, I didn't." He murmurs, wanting to close the distance between their lips. Her brow furrows and she asks him why.

He hasn't made a wish since he was 9 and his parents were divorcing. He wished for them to stay together and two months later he was living in a different state with his mother. Wishes were for kids who were in hopeless situations. Besides, all he would want to wish for was Rachel Berry, and thankfully, he already has that.

"My wish would be you." he tells her instead, loving the smile the curls her lips upwards.

_#40-_

_Breakfast pleasure_

His pants have gone beyond tight and have now reached the area of unbearable. He tries to shift in a vain attempt to release himself of some of the most painfully pleasurable pressure of his life. He would blame the situation entirely on his penis, but he can't help but extend a little blame toward his girlfriend. She is the one, standing naked in his kitchen while cooking him breakfast.

If he had it his way, breakfast would be in the form of lunch, several hours from now and after a very long erhm- shagging, may be the only _polite _way to put what he'd want to be doing.

But no. Rachel and her damn rules.

He was to watch from the kitchen island, unable to touch anything, and she meant _anything_, as she cooked breakfast for him.

She cracked another egg into the skillet, shaking her hips back and forth as she sang a little tune.

The pressure grew.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

Slightly on the sad side.

enjoy-

* * *

_#41-_

_Last thoughts_

He can never quite shake the feeling that he'd done something terribly wrong. It starts out slow. A feeling that trickles into his mind and gradually shapes his thoughts. He doesn't like the way it feels. It makes him guilty and anxious. He can never feel fully at ease, knowing that, in the back of his mind, something wicked had happened. He can't explain it, but he doesn't try anyways, he doesn't want to give voice to those feelings.

There is some flaw, some horrendous flaw that has seriously altered his true purpose in life.

It's a horrible feeling. A horrible, heart wrenching, gut twisting, feeling.

He dies alone. Old and frail.

In the few seconds between passing over and staying behind, he realizes what he never had before.

The realization shakes him to his core and pushes him over.

_Rachel Berry_.

#42

_what it could have been_

"I miss you."

The words fall from the air.

_- and suddenly she's running through the field, shoes kicked off and hem of dress in hand. She's tripping and falling and stumbling, gasping and crying. _

"I miss you so much."

The words are crippling and his voice quakes.

_and then she is flying into his arms and intertwining herself with him and there's no stop to the tears. It's horrible and beautiful and then they are on the ground._

"I'm better now. At least, I think so. Everyday, i'm a little better."

_and then they are rolling, body over body, arm under arm, they are rolling and tumbling down a hill and there's no stopping them. Tears mix in with kisses and the taste of salt is on both of their lips._

"You're healing me, I know you are."

The words are coming freely now and there's no stopping him.

"You were always so pure, so unbelievable. I could never understand what I did to have you in my life, what great act I must have done to deserve you.."

_They don't separate, not after the sun falls down and the moon passes by and the dawn rises once again. Only an act of God could separate them. _

_eventually, an act of God did. _

_#43-_

_Lets name him James_

"Absolutely not." Rachel's voice was firm. There was no way, no possible way that she would ever allow her unborn child to have the first name "James"

"Why?" Jesse couldn't understand her adamant stance of an anti-James name.

"Because, it's a horrible name."

"That's a little harsh."

"Jesse, no, we are not naming him James! Besides, we're not even sure if it's an He anyways.."

"Trust me honey, I know... I created a boy"

Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Besides, James St. James? That's just asking for him to get slushied."

_"Well, _it's a good thing _he _ will not be going to your retched high school."

_44-_

_James_

Rachel Berry was six years old when she met James Matheney. He was an older boy of eight and he played on the big kids play ground, completely off limits to anyone under second grade. Rachel was only in first.

"Come on Berry, I dare yah!" Susannah Wallace, the prettiest girl in the class sneered. Rachel thought that only her outsides were pretty, because she had ugly insides.

"No. I'm not crazy" Regardless of what others said, Rachel knew that as fact.

"I double, tripple, dog dare you. I bet that Barbra girl would do it!"

and that did it.

She took a deep breath and crossed through the small chain link fence that separated the little kids play ground from the big kids.

"Look what we have here!" One of the big kids yelled, zeroing in on the little girl. "A munchkin!"

James was a bigger boy, slightly round in the middle and still had a decent amount of his baby fat left clinging to his face. He had a wicked reputation for stealing lunch money and vandalizing text books with crude pictures.

"-I-I-I... I'm not a mun-munchkin." Rachel stuttered, pushing the hair out of her face and straining to stay standing.

"Really?" James asked, cocking his head to the side. He dug around in his pockets and pulled out a piece of chewing gum.

"Y-Yes. I'm only six." Rachel's confidence grew and she put a hand on her hip like she had seen her mother do so often and watch him chew the gum.

"Well, little girl, would you like some chewing gum?" James smirked and popped a bubble.

"Yes... please."

James quickly spit the piece into his hand and promptly smeared it into Rachel Berry's hair.

It was the last time Rachel touched chewing gum, and the last time she agreed to any dare, even if it was a double, triple, quadruple dog dare.

_45- Applause._

__They're all watching her. Every single person in the sold-out auditorium is watching her, loving her, worshiping her.

She can feel them. She can feel all of their eyes watching her, following her every movement. She's dancing across the stage and her mouth is open and she's singing like she's never sung before. Everything in her life, every small thing that's ever happened has ceased to exist and all there is is the stage.

There's no stopping this moment.

Her arms shake and her knees wobble and her toes are pointed and she's spinning out of control and her jaw is in pain and she can barely breathe. The light hurts her eyes and she's squinting but the moment is perfect.

She finishes the song with a chaotic ground shouting and stomping their feet. The standing ovation sends her on a bliss train to euphoria. She leaves the stage trembling, shaking at the thousands of cries of her name.

"RACHEL BERRY" "RACHEL BERRY" "RACHEL BERRY" "RACHEL BERRY"

Her legs finally give out and she crashes to the floor, panting and heaving. Stage hands rush to her aide and it's all she can do to keep conscious.

People are shaking her, crying her name. But she's so lost in the moment that nothing make sense so she lets her emotions take over and she drops out of consciousness.

She'll never forget that moment.

* * *

Thanks everyone who read this.

I'll be posting more sometime, I haven't abandoned this.  
Sorry for the mistakes and errors, I did a rush job of correcting this.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee

A/N: Back so soon, be proud.

Review.

* * *

_46- Love_

"I love you." The words tumble from her mouth before she has a chance to stop them and her eyes widen in surprise. She hadn't expected _that_ to come out. But it had, and now there was no taking it back. Ever.

She looks away quickly. It's too much for her to handle, too much for her to even think about.

"I'm thinking about going to school early, maybe even as soon as this summer." She knows its not the time to tell him that- she's not even sure if it's happening and she doesn't want him to worry about it, but there's nothing else she can think to say.

He doesn't say anything.

She bites her thumb nail, shredding her perfectly sculpted nail into a nub of its former self.

And still he says nothing.

Her anxiety quickly turns to anger and from there it escalates to ferocity. She's ferocious and then enraged and then she's standing and her knees pop from being jostled after sitting so long.

She takes one step, two, three and she's at the door. It swings open at her push and she's striding down the driveway towards her little black car parked near Jesse's range rover.

She can hear her named being called but she's so upset she can't make out anything else. The car door slams shut and her fingers jumble with the the keys- finally she gets them in the ignition and by then Jesse is at her window.

He's knocking on it and telling her to get out of the car but she doesn't care- she doesn't care at all because she just told him she _loved_ him and all he did was stare.

She throws her car into reverse and nearly knocks down the St. Jame's trashcan.

"Rachel, I love you!" Jesse is yelling and she can just barely make it out. Her foot slips from the gas and hits the break and the car jerks to a stop.

She barely has the car in park before Jesse is throwing the door open and pulling her out of the car. He doesn't waste any time and his lips find hers in a matter of seconds.

And then the words are falling from his mouth, like little praises- "I love you." "I love you." "I'm so in love with you." "I love you."

_47- New Years Eve _

He's drunk. Sloshed. Hammered. Wasted.

Finn Hudson can barely stand, can barely even think. The room is crooked and there's an awful acidic taste in his mouth. He stumbles forward and hits something hard with his hip. It barely phases him.

People are yelling and shouting, it's new years eve and the chaos in the room is ear shattering. People push up against him and the room is hot and smells like liquor.

Someone calls him a cab and he falls into the back seat like dead weight. The sky is decorated with lights, bright explosions of fire and sparks.

He closes his eyes, his mind still reeling and he can feel his heart pump into overdrive.

Drunk out of his mind, he still only thinks about her.

Finn is deposited at his apartment in Manhattan. He followed her out here, to the far east of the country, to the place she'd always wanted to be.

He thinks that one day he'll run into her, one day he'll find her again... But it's unlikely.

Somehow he makes it up to his room, fumbling with his keys, and drops onto the sofa. He has a room mate, but he's not there at the moment. He drops into sleep, hoping that this year will be different.

_48-_ Display

"That's Rachel Berry" a little girl squeals, pulling sharply on her mothers hand. Jesse looks up, surprised to hear that name.

"Who, sweetheart?" The mother asks, squinting her eyes to try and catch the sight of whoever her daughter mentioned.

"That one, the one on TV!" The girl jumps up and down and points toward the giant tv display in the window.

Jesse takes a step closer and inspects the screen. It's certainly Rachel Berry, but not one he's ever seen before.

This version is older, mature, beautiful and confident. There's no sound coming from the tv, but he can tell she's singing and it's beautiful.

"What do you know about Rachel Berry?" Jesse asks the little girl, making the mother a little nervous. Jesse is clean and handsome and looks rich, but one can never trust strangers in these days.

"She's only the most talented person ever!" She bounces, excited to share information about her favorite role model. "I love her, and I'm her biggest fan!"

"She sounds amazing."

The girl nods ecstatically in agreement.

"I would give anything to see her!" The girl's voice takes on an almost mournful tone, one that surprises Jesse.

But then again, he would too.

_49- Musical note _

The entire glee club is stunned when they catch sight of it. It was completely by accident, but it happened nevertheless. Rachel Berry had simply reached up to catch the paper ball Noah Puckerman threw, exposing a lot more skin than normal.

Kurt was the first one to notice, and then proceeded to grab Rachel by the hip to examine it more closely.

There were three music notes, rising from the beneath the waistband of her skirt, following the curve of her hips.

"When did you mutilate your body?" Kurt asked, rubbing at the black ink.

Rachel squirmed out of his reach, pulling her shirt down as far as it would go.

After several crude jokes, a few compliments, Santana calling her a whore and Brittney asking if they were birthmarks, Rachel finally escaped from the rehearsal.

Jesse was leaning against the hallway when she came out, embarrassed and frustrated with everyone's reaction to her tattoo's, beginning to regret ever having it done in the first place.

"I think it's sexy."

And just like that, all the regret was gone.

_50- Congratulations Mr. James, You're a father._

All of their friends and family are sitting in the waiting room, anxiously awaiting for more news. Coffee is being passed around and balloons are crowding the ceiling. Even though this baby is two week early, everyone came fully prepared.

Rachel's fathers pace up and down the hall, too excited to sit down. Jesse is the same way in the delivery room, shifting on the balls of his feet. She's refused the epidural and now the pain is starting to make her cry.

The crying escalates to screaming and cursing and she's clenching his hand so tightly he thinks he'll never be able to use it again. But then the doctor is asking her to push and she's crying again and shaking and he peaks over her legs to get the first look of _his _child.

And he can see his head, and now his shoulders and then he's shocked that instead of a son, he has a beautiful baby girl.

Rachel is breathing raggedly and crying and the doctor is wrapping up _his_ daughter and holding her out to them. Rachel immediately opens her arms towards _their_ daughter and Jesse can't help the tears.

Rachel is crying, and the baby is crying and so is he. It's more than he could ever hope for, it's more than he could ever dream for because finally he has his family. Jesse has his perfect family and his heart is so full it's about to burst.

Holding _his_ daughter feels like holding the key to every magical thing in the world. It's like an honor that he never deserved, and he thanks God, because how else did he get so extremely lucky?

He walks out with _his_ daughter and the room explodes with cheers, _it's a girl. _

Rachel's fathers are the first ones to be allowed to hold her and Jesse hovers over them like a hawk. He stops breathing when she's passed into someone elses hands and only starts breathing again when he finally takes her back in his arms.

People congratulate him on being so lucky, on having such a wonderful wife- on having such a beautiful girl. He can barely acknowledge all of them, too enraptured with the perfect thing resting in the crook of his arm.

Later, when they are alone, Jesse climbs into the hospital bed with his wife, tucks his newborn daughter between them and holds the most important thing ever, in his life.

He holds his family.

* * *

Sorry for any errors, I know there are quite a few.


End file.
